For so long, I was one of those girls. I struggled so much with self-doubt, because of my surroundings. I was told that my opinions, thoughts and feelings were insignificant. And it really took a toll on me. Over the past two years, I’ve been really trying to get out of this self-doubt phase that I had been since, well, since probably middle school. Yep, my self-doubt went all the way back to when I was only 11 years old. And these self-doubt probably changed over the years, but they were still there. I won’t lie and say that I’m completely out of self-doubt, and I won’t lie and say that after you read this you will be either, but I want to help.
So to all my girls out there struggling with Self Doubt, let me give you some advice:
- Your opinions matters. You are allowed to agree and disagree with anything. Including your parents, your elders, you peers. You don’t need to sit and lie to yourself, and not stand up for what you believe. Here’s my example: I’m pro-choice on the stance of abortion, I have been for as long as I can remember. But the city that I lived in is mostly a catholic community (I’m not). Because of that, most are pro-life, so my opinions was always very not popular. And because of that, I was told so many times that my opinions didn’t matter. Now, in general, I had parent’s act like what I said didn’t matter, I had teachers, friends, elders, it happened. But if back then I had stood up and said “no, what I think does matter” maybe the chain of events wouldn’t have happened. Here’s my advice, if you feel strongly about something, if you disagree with something, if you agree with something, make it known, and make it clear to yourself that it does matter. Your opinions does matter
- You aren’t just a body. A lot of girls struggle with making a name for themselves, because until the last 20 years, because a women was always so sexualized. (Yes, I know, I’m only 22 years old, so how could I know past that, but let me tell you, it’s obvious). Ladies, you aren’t just a body, you are SO much more, and you are so much more that just sex. You have a brain, and you deserve to be treated like such. In history, in the past, women couldn’t get jobs, couldn’t go to school, were to raise children, cook, clean, and please the husband, but that is not the case anymore. You are so much more than a homemaker, and if you are with someone who only wants your body, then you are with the wrong guy. My advice: find someone you makes you feel like more than just a body, find someone who listens to your thoughts, your desires and your wants.
- Self doubt isn’t all just in your head. Yes, you read that right, it’s not ALL in your head. You aren’t just making up that you have a self-doubt problem. Everything around you can cause it. Your family, friends, co-workers, job, elders, anything, not even just people, work, school, mall. Self doubt doesn’t start because you just woke up with it, it starts because someone says “wow, have you gained a few pounds?” or “wow, you used to be nicer.” . Trust is, practically anything can cause you to start having those self-doubt thoughts, anything. My advice: When you start self doubting, take a step back, and look to see what it is that is causing it.
- It is okay to remove yourself from situations that cause you to have self-doubt. If a friend makes you feel bad, that isn’t a friend. If your job is cause you to have some doubt in yourself, it is okay to find a new job. If your family is causing you doubt yourself (you can’t just lose them but), it’s okay to say something, or even to just pull back. My advice when it comes to leaving: Leave. Stay away. Pull away.
- Start sounding yourself with people who help bring you up. When you starting pulling away, tossing aside, whatever, people, it’s a good time to start finding people who make you feel good. People who will be there when you start self doubting and can remind you that you are so much more then that person.
So, if you learned anything, anything at all, I want it to be this: YOU ARE SO MUCH MORE THEN JUST THIS SELF DOUBTING PERSON.
Love, Megan Anne
<3 <3 <3