There are moments in our lives that define us, that change us, that break our hearts, and bring us down.
These are the moments when you are in the darkest place of your mind and it feels like the whole world has come crashing down on you. When even the simple task of breathing seems impossible. When the sun no longer brings you happiness and only in the still of the night do you let yourself feel the pain coursing through your body. These are the moments when it seems so easy to think you can’t keep going.
These are the moments when the pill bottle seems like an easy solution, when the alcohol calls to you and when the razor blade seems simple. These are the moments when your mind can’t even process the fact that you’ll be leaving behind all the people who do love you. These are the moments when you feel so alone, even with your friend saying they’ll be there for you.
These are the moments that define you, change you, break your heart and bring you down.
But, there is an up.
These moments, they don’t last forever. They don’t ever have to end with you leaving this world. The pill bottle, the alcohol, the razor blade, it won’t help in the least. All it does is mask the pain, cover it for a while. But it can end your life, it can stop your breathing and that’s why you don’t do that. When you feel like you’d be happier numb, run. Run to the closest friend, sibling, family member and tell them. You won’t always be going through this, this pain. This pain that you feel, this moment that caused your heart to crash in, it’ll go away. Eventually, you will be okay. Eventually, you will see a light at the end of the tunnel and you will make it.
You will make it.
You will make it because you don’t have another choice. You will, eventually, see the sky behind the clouds. The sun will always return if you try. If you turn to self-hating, to self-pain, wallowing, you’ll drown. You’ll fall under and the pain will talk over. The heaviness, the blackness, the numbness, it’ll try to anchor you to the bottom of the ocean. You can’t let it set in, you can’t allow it to change you.
You have to learn to learn from this. You have to take this moment and make sure it never happens again. You can’t let yourself feel like there is no tomorrow because tomorrow is going to come. Tomorrow is going to happen and it’s going to be okay. You will be okay.
There are moments in our lives that define us, that change us, that break our hearts, bring us down and then help better us.
I truly hope that this helped someone, anyone, even if it’s just in the littlest way possible. Because feeling like it’ll never end, or you can’t get through whatever you’re going through is awful.