Recently I did a video and blog post reading an old love email (http://www.lovemegananne.com/celebrate23-8/) and in that post, I basically told y’all that I couldn’t believe was sending these things back then. This really got me thinking about who I was and why I thought I had to send this kind of email. Obviously, this wasn’t just a personal thing, I believe that probably anyone at that age went through this, but at 15 I was so young and I thought I was so grown up.
When I was 15 years old, I honestly didn’t ever think about the day that I wouldn’t be in high school anymore or the day that I wouldn’t see those people all the time. I thought that this guy was going to be my forever, that he wanted me for more than just sex, that if I did have sex with him, he wouldn’t be like those other girl’s boyfriends, he would continue to want to date me.
In reality, that wasn’t the case. Now just so we are clear, there was no sex involved because I never felt comfortable enough to have sex with him, which is defiantly what lead to us breaking up a few months after this email. It’s also probably what caused us to then get back together about 6 months later when I was 16. Yes, we played the on again, off again game. Well, we played it once.
Again, we didn’t have sex and then we broke up. What. A. Shock. I know. But regardless he defiantly wasn’t the “one” for me and I wasn’t that person for him. In fact, he know has a son and fiance / wife (I don’t know) and he seems pretty happy. Which, grand for him!
But this post isn’t about him, because damn now I sound like a crazy ex. This post is about the girl I was at 15, and some advice I wish I would have been give.
- Don’t do something you aren’t okay with. Newsflash, you aren’t just a toy that can be wound up and then push to the side. You are an amazing human being and you deserve so much better. Guys in high school are not and will not be the best guys for you, and more than likely you will find a guy who treats you the right way.
- Sex does not equal love. This contradicts a lot of things I’ve said in the past. That you should be in love to have sex, or that you should love the person you’re having sex with, but what I’m saying is that just because you have sex with someone does not mean you have to love them or that they love you. When you’re young, it seems so simple to think that love equals sex, but it doesn’t. Sex is sex and love is love. When those two things come together, it makes a magical thing, but if not, it’s just sex. So, use protection and don’t get pregnant.
- Life goes on, and tomorrow will be so different than today. This goes without question, but tomorrow is going to happen and tomorrow is going to be different and you have to roll with it.
- There are a lot of fish in the sea. It’s true. There is so much more to boys than just these few high school boys you find attractive. I didn’t know this, or maybe I did and I just never thought about it, but being that you’re in this school with only really a handful of guys, your options are limited. Don’t feel like you HAVE to choose one these guys to be with, because you don’t. Ten years down the road you probably won’t be either.
I was a boy crazy 15-year-old, and honestly, I got in way over my head with this guy. We then broke up, I felt heartbroken, moved on, and then he came right back. We weren’t right or each other and we never were going to be.
To the girl that I was, I wish I could give her these tips and say, “here, read these. Live by these. Follow these.” because it would have made a big difference in the long run!
This post is very similar to my to the girls in high school, so check that one after this one!
Tweet me using #Celebrate23 to talk about these post!
Love, Megan Anne