Over the past month, and probably even before that, I do believe I lost what I would say is the foundation of myself. I wanted to be what everyone thought I was and I wanted to mold to be that.
Now don’t get that confused with me saying I did not want to do these things because I did. I’m a very headstrong person and when I really put my mind to something, I will do it. However, I started doing these things and started to make myself believe I wanted to do those things full-time, almost that I thought those would be any easier than doing what I’ve always wanted to do. But again, I did want to do those things and actually still do. However, those things aren’t what I want to be my future. I got this crazy idea in my head that maybe I could do these things. That maybe I could be that person and that would make me happy.
But again, I did want to do those things and actually still do. However, those things aren’t what I want to be my future. I got this crazy idea in my head that maybe I could do these things. That maybe I could be that person and that would make me happy.
But that never would have happened.
Basically what I’m talking about is the idea of being a full-time blogger/social media influencer/social media manager/virtual assistant person. I will say that I may still pursue those things, and I’ll never stop running my blog or social media, but I’ll never be happy not having a career. Yes, I know what you’re thinking, “Megan you don’t need a degree to have a career” or “social media can be a career” but I know personally if I look back 20 years to today, I will have wished I would have gotten a degree.Now I’ll be honest with y’all, getting a degree is not only hard but also going to take me a while.
Now I’ll be honest with y’all, getting a degree is not only hard but also going to take me a while, a good while. And while yes, I know my past experience with college has not been the greatest, I believe that I am now much older and more capable of handling the stress of going to college.
So how did I come to this clarity? Well, I took a break and a step back. I got back to my roots and remembered when it is I love to do. So Saturday morning, I woke up and I decided that I was going to take the day off. What I mean by a day off is that I was not going to check my social media stats or my blog’s stats. I was not going to answer emails or responded to comments. I was not going to worry about whether my video got enough promotion. I was just going to let it be for the day because I needed to breathe and I needed a break.
Then I sat down and I wrote down these 7 questions and I answered them. These questions were questions that I found online, obviously, you all can probably see now that I am trying to find myself. If you haven’t read my 25 questions to know yourself post, go ahead and give that a look because that was the first in my “finding myself” series. Well, it’s an unofficial series really.
I found these questions from Darcy Nicole‘s 7 Questions That Really Dig at Your Soul post and after reading through these I realized that I really needed to answer these questions and the result, was intense.
- If you could be remembered for three things after you die, what would they be?
- Helping out people in the most human way possible – listening when they’re having a bad day, making phone calls when they can’t-do it, asking the questions no one else will, etc.
- Be a creative person who did it because she loved it, not because it was a last resort.
- Being the girl who wanted to do everything, and tried everything.
- If you could make one change in the world, what would it be? I believe I answered as a similar questions in the first one of these I did, but I wouldn’t change the fact that there is racism. I would, however, change the way that cops are being painted. This is one of those things that I know is controversial because obviously, I know that there are cops that are not right but not every cop is that. I personally know a lot of cops, or people who are planning on being in that field and one thing that does come up is the reality of being painted in the wrong light, being put in a compromising position. I just can’t imagine being put in that situation and I also can’t imagine why anyone would be okay with putting them in the position.
- What one piece of advice would you tell your teenage self? Work hard, even if everyone else think its “extra” because in a few years, those people will be wishing they would have worked hard.
- What are your top 5 most deeply held, core values? How does your life currently align with these values? Which ones are you ignoring? I believe that my life does align with these for the most part but the one thing that I defiantly can say I haven’t been going by lately is the idea of having patience and working toward my goals. I’ve gone through this period were I just want everything to done already, but I need to start working towards my goal of waiting and be patient in myself. My top 5 core values are:
- Never allow someone else to define my self-worth
- Forgive but don’t forget
- Patience over speed
- Help those who need it and ask, and those who need it and don’t ask
- Live life to the fullest but never forget where the ground is
- How are you living outside of your integrity? Looking at what ‘integrity’ means, you will see that it means to be honest and having strong moral principles. I believe that I’ve been living outside of my integrity but not wanting to wait for what I know I can do. Not wanting to be patient in the pursuit of what I know I will be happy I did in the future.
- What are your personal self-doubts? How have your self-doubts held you back in the past? Is there any solid evidence that these self-doubts are true? One of my biggest self-doubts is that I’m not good enough to have an actually career. This has played a very big part in why I did not really do the greatest in college before now, it it’s something that I’m not really sure why I think because that’s never been the case but it’s defiantly something I still have to figure out how to over come. And no, there is no evidence that this is true, it’s just a mental thing.
- When you wake up in the morning, how do you want to feel? I want to feel happy, not content, not normal, happy. I want to wake up every morning know that I am happy and that I am doing exactly what I am meant to be doing. I want to wake up knowing that I have the people I want in my life, in my life. I want to be happy.
So yeah, those 7 questions really got me thinking. Now, I did come fill in that last question with a question I had seen and wanted to answer because the original question was repeated. If you want to check out the original questions, go on over to Darcy Nichole’s Blog to learn more.