What happens at 3 am? Not a whole lot, if we’re being honest. Well, okay that’s not true. Planes are currently flying, hospitals are still running, 24-hour joints are open, people are still working. For me, 3 am is my peace because it’s that calm, it’s the time when most everything stills. Ever been out at 3 am? Everything is still. The highways are still empty. Walmart is dead. Nurses are rounding, cops are playing with the radios, fast food workers are barely awake. But most of the world is sleeping at 3 am.
But here I am, a person who has no reason to be up at 3 am, wide awake because I’ve found peace with 3 am. I’ve found peace in the stillness, the quietness, the loneliness, that haunts 3 am. Why is 3 am so different? Why not 2 am or 5 am? Because 3 am is the time when everything nonessential is closed, it’s when the world decides that it is time to stop.
Bars are closed, stores are closed, airports will not board. It is a silent world at 3 am and that is because we’ve allowed it to be just that. Most find 3 am creepy, dark, twisted, wrong but I find so much comfort in the fact that 3 am is silent. I find comfort in the fact that it’s me and not many others.
3 am gets an awful name. You see it all the movies, horror movies, where they talk about 3 am being the witching hour, the hour of paranormal, the hour all hell breaks loose. But the reality is, that could happen at any moment but because 3 am is quite, it’s thought to be the most active. 3 am is the time of peace and silent. It’s the time of sleepiness for most.
3 am is when I do my best thinking, my thoughts less clouded, my brain able to process. It’s when I think about the events of not only the day but of my life. I think about the people who have hurt me, the lies that I almost forget about, I think about my anxiety and how to try and handle it. 3 am is when I think of my past, of my mistakes. It’s when I’m finally able to come to terms with things that I once was not able to. It was then I was able to finally let go of what could have been but wasn’t.
3 am is when I think about all the laughter I’ve shared with different people. With all the girls I’ve given advice to, all the guys I’ve helped get the girl. It’s when I think about my best friends and how much they truly mean to me. It’s when I think about my family and I wonder how we’ve made it so far. It’s when I think about everything good in my life, even when there have been, and will be, bad times. I think about everything I’m trying to archive online and how I’m finally starting to see my goals get met and surpassed in not even a fraction of the time I allotted.
3 am is my home. 3 am is my safety, 3 am is my happy place.
Love, Megan Anne
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